Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
