Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
