DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
