It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
