apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
