Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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