Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
one two three fourrrrnication!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
