Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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