the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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