Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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