So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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