do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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