I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
