I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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