I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
