just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
