CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
