I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
