We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
