.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
