how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
