im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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