Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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