So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sorry about my life...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
