did you get engaged???
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
