Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
love makes seman taste better
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
