yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize