i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
