Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize