Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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