I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
