Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Me too!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Randomize
