I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
