Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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