dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
third nipple confirmed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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