drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize