She announced her abortion via fbk
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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