the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
