oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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