I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
