I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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