i just wanna soil my oats bro
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
there's paper in my vomit.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize