She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
