TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
