can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
