Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
