So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
