nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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