i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
