they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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