Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
