I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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