I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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