I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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