I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
