Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
