i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
