I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
