My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
